Shabbat Messages

Last week, we observed Tisha B’Av (the 9th day of the Hebrew month of Av), which commemorates the destructions of both the First and Second Temples in Jerusalem (586 BCE and 70 CE), as well as numerous other tragedies that befell the Jewish people on that exact same date:

• The First Crusade which killed thousands of Jews in 1096.

• The expulsion of Jews from England in 1290, from France in 1306, and from Spain in 1492.

• The Nazi approval of the "Final Solution" to murder the Jews of Europe in 1941

• The mass deportations of Jews from the Warsaw Ghetto in 1942.

On Tisha B’Av, we fast. We remember. We sit on the ground like mourners and chant the biblical Book of Lamentations which describes our anguish and loss.

AND THEN….

Six days later, we celebrate Tu B’Av (the 15th day of Av), the ancient Israelite festival of love, dancing and flirting, and reveling in the pure joy of being alive. It is a holiday that many of us are not aware of, and yet it’s significance cannot be underestimated.

Two thousand years ago, Tu B’Av was the day when the unmarried young women of Jerusalem would dress in white and dance in the vineyards outside the city walls in front of all the unmarried young men, enticing and enchanting them into love and marriage. It was a day of romance and betrothals, a Jewish Valentine’s Day and Sadie Hawkins Day rolled into one.

Aligned with the full summer moon which symbolizes fertility, Tu B’Av was a day so delightful, so filled with light and laughter for everyone, that our Talmudic sages considered it one of the happiest days of the year:

Rabban Shimon ben Gamaliel said: There were no days of joy in Israel greater than the fifteenth of Av….  On these days, the daughters of Jerusalem would go out in borrowed white garments in order not to shame anyone who had none…. and would come out and dance in the vineyards. What would they say? “Young man, lift up your eyes and see what you choose for yourself…” (Mishnah Tractate Ta’anit, 4:8)

After Jerusalem was destroyed by the Romans and razed to the ground in 70 CE, our ancestors were carried off to captivity and exile, far from the lush, green vineyards and towering city battlements. Through the centuries, Tu B’Av became a cherished memory to hold onto, a symbol of life and love as we struggled to survive the persecutions and pogroms, the ghettos and expulsions. It was a beautiful dream that we never relinquished, always marking that special day with certain prayers in the synagogue.

When the State of Israel was established and we were able to finally return to our ancient homeland, Tu B’Av was revived and restored to its rightful place on our Jewish calendar.  Now called Chag HaAhavah (Festival of Love), it has become the most popular and beloved day for music festivals, parties, romantic dates, marriage proposals, and weddings – not just in Israel, but in Jewish communities everywhere. Not just because we enjoy it, but because we need it.  

You see, the fact that the joyous Tu B’Av follows so quickly after the somber Tisha B’Av is no coincidence.  Our sages intentionally placed them close to each other because the connection between these two polar opposites exemplifies some of our most important Jewish values–values which strengthen us and sustain us and teach us how to navigate the difficulties and vicissitudes of life.

To remember the past, but always look to the future.

To walk through our grief, then seek out the joy.

To recognize the darkness, then celebrate the light.

To mourn what we’ve lost, and then refill ourselves with love and hope.

This is the Jewish way. This is how we face life’s challenges. This is how we support each other in times of sadness and celebration. This is how we cultivate resilience and courage and faith. This is what has helped us survive for over 3000 years.

Shabbat Shalom and sending you all love,
Rabbi Susan Nanus